| THE BIGGEST MYSTERY ABOUT MEN: |
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“I NEED SPACE” So my boyfriend and I broke up after New Year’s 2010 and I was completely devastated. I didn’t see it coming. Obviously in retrospect the lack of Christmas present (i.e. I got him one, but he didn’t get me one), and the sudden “need for space” should have raised a red flag or two for me, but of course I was blinded by love and ignored these little, yet alarming hints.
Naturally when we’re rejected, as females, we react with our emotions and cling to our now ex-boyfriends by calling them incessantly, sending weepy text messages, and basically stalking their Facebook page, bursting into tears when we see that he does in fact, have attractive female friends that write on his wall. Facebook is the devil, but I’ll get into that in my next article.
I know, it’s horrible to admit, but most of us have done unspeakable things when we’ve been dumped by the guy that we’re smitten with. It’s an awful feeling, and we start analyzing every little detail of the relationship until there’s nothing left but unanswered questions. I even did the worst thing I could possibly do and I offered him my “friendship”. Gross. Like who REALLY wants to be friends after being dumped? Nobody. It’s a pathetic attempt to keep in contact with this person in hopes that they’ll “realize” what they’ve lost and come running back to you. It doesn’t work. When my friend Kyle, asked me if I’d moved on yet, I wrote him this: “So...if making out with a hot younger guy all night Friday and then smashing my car into a parked vehicle while I was drinking and driving, obliterating my tail light, fleeing from the scene of the accident, and then showing up wasted at my ex's place only to sleep alone in his bed (his back door is always open), and waking up not remembering how I got to his house, or why the f*ck I was even there in the first place, AND being late for work reeking of booze, then yeah, I'd say I've moved on to some extent. Probably not in the healthiest of ways though.” Clearly, I have some life issues that I need to address. Not only did I do some really stupid and dangerous things, I made it very clear to him that I am affected by his need for space, and I am acting out in ways that are more than inappropriate. This is exactly what you should not do. I’ve discovered, through reading hundreds of Internet articles on this apparently very popular subject, that men simply “need space” for a variety of reasons. It doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to bang other chicks. It usually has nothing to do with you, but more with the fact that he’s scared of falling for you and doesn’t want to lose his independence. Nine out of ten times, he just needs a break to re-evaluate the whole relationship and decide if he does want to take it to the next level. My advice then (which HAS been working like a charm by the way), is to completely ignore the bastard. I’m serious, mail the stuff he gave you back to him, don’t answer any of his calls or texts, erase him off Facebook, and go out and at least pretend, to have an awesome time. He’ll be calling you in no time. They always do. And then, you can be the one to decide if you want HIM back. Girl Power.
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